Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we're making bets on your personal life
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I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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