Do you still have your period?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So. Much. Porn.
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