Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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