Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
