tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize