he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
