I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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