I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.