I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me