hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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