he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize