i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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