please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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