You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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