Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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