You're a womanizer and a bitch.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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