Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
