i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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