why do cheetos always look like penises
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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