Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
