i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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