My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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