Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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