Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Every concussion has its silver lining
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
