So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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