I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
