sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize