you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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