hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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