I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize