So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She's JV to your varsity
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
