Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
