think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
