Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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