how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's official drugs can't kill me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
