when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
