The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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