Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize