i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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