I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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