Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
