I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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