He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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