I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!