He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
don't judge my taste in strippers
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
