I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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