Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize