I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
