I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize