how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
