you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
