...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
