is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
