Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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