Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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