mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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