I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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