i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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