i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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