yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize