After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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